End of 2005

Time really flies... In a few more days, 2005 will come to an end... Every year the newspapers will list down the top 10 happenings in the year... now I guess it's my turn to list down the top 10 happenings in my life in 2005... Ok... I tried to list down top 10 things but I can really recall what other things I can list down... So make do with Top 7 things ok? :P

1) Breaking up with Freddy on 24 March 2005
I guess this must come in the top. After all it came as a shock to almost everyone esp since we were together for 3+ years. He was my best friend and still is even until now. We are still in contact now and I still tell him everything. But no matter what happens, I will definitely treasure the memories we had...

2) Grandma contracting cancer
Sad to say we just discovered that grandma has contracted cancer which is already in the terminal stage. There is nothing much the doctors can do for her now cos they cant operate on her as she's too weak. We can only visit her more often in the hospital cos she is more or less waiting for the time to go. We did not let her know her condition cos we are afraid she will lose her will to live if she knows. Now we can only wait and wait and wait....

3) Knowing the pp in the forum
I joined the gathering the day I broke up with Fred and got to know some of the people from the forum. Maybe because I had quite a lot of free time during the weekends after I broke up with Fred, thus I met up with them for WIFI session almost every weekend. Funny thing though is that I just go there to zuo bo n chat with them. I'm too bored at home lah... bo bian... :P It was through the WIFI sessions that I got to know some of them better and became good friends. We even go for supper (or dinner in my case) on and off after my school.

4) Going back to school
I think my mum must have thought that I was crazy when I told her that I was thinking of going to take up a p/t advance diploma course. This is because everyone knows how much I hate studying... or rather... how much I study... I never really put in any effort to study all my life or rather, I only study when I need to. Too lazy to spend that time on studying when I can be out playing or having fun... Anyway, I am now studying a p/t Advance Diploma in Strategic Marketing. Many people had asked me why did I choose to study an advance diploma when I can go and do a degree. My answer to all is always the same... Cos I'm not sure if I am really interested in marketing and I dun want to spend so much money on a 3 years degree course and then realised that it is not what I want after all. At least because this is a 1.5 years course, I will die die finish studying it... Studying this course has make my already busy days even more busy esp when my projects are due for submittion... so my life is basically busy busy and busy all the way...

5) Found an old friend through friendster
Friendster is a popular network engine where you can find all your friends who are link to other people all over the world. Funnily, it is through friendster that a friend of mine all the way from my primary school got back in touch with me. I lost contact with him for quite some time. Even though both of us know that we can easily get back in touch by going through his sister, I guess we are both too lazy. Anyway, I am just glad to find an old friend back... :)

6) Getting a new bf
I got attached ard 4 months after I broke up w Fred... He was someone I know from Mumbo Camp. He's really nice to me and I know he loves me alot. I do love him but somehow there are things that he did that I don't approve of... But that's in the past already...

7) Putting on weight...
damn... I put on lots of weight this year... Many 'thanks' to Darryl and Benny... They are the main culprit for causing me to put on weight... One will bring me to all sorts of places to makan the other will send me food on n off while he's in Australia... I want to lose weight...~!

I'm looking forward to 2006 and hope it will be a better year...

December

December is the time when most people will choose to clear their leave and clear their holidays. That's perhaps y there are so many people out on the streets even though it's weekdays.

For me, I guess December is one of the month when I'm ultra busy... so busy that I dun really have time for anything else. Take for example, Mumbo Camp is usually held in december. It will then take up the 1st two weekends of December cos of the OLIP and actual camp itself. the weekend after the camp will normally have the Christmas Party for the kids from Mumbo Camp.

Then comes Christmas which I normally will spend with my sec sch friends and New Year which I will spend with my Poly gfs... The rest of the weekdays you will have me either having lessons or shopping for xmas present if it's nearing xmas liao... Where do I find time for myself???

I still need to go to the hospital to visit grandma... I'm telling myself to go to try and go to the hospital more frequent cos I heard from sis that Grandma's condition is not very good... I really hope she will recover. However, with her old age and health condition, no matter how strong she is, it will still be very hard... But no matter what I will still pray and hope her condition will turn for the better... :)

Xmas is coming~!

Jingle Bells Jingle Bells Jingle all the way...

Xmas is round the corner again...~! Even though I am not a Christian, for some reason, I am always very happy whenever Xmas is here. Mayb because it's the season to be jolly... :P

I took half day leave today and met up with my dear to go for Xmas shopping... People all seem to dun need to work cos Orchard is quite crowded even though it's a weekday afternoon and after lunch time already... I bought quite a lot of stuff today and spent a lot of $$. Think I'm ultra broke now but there's still some presents that I have yet to buy... :(

I'm cracking my head to think of what presents to get for some of my friends... really v chem... dunno what to do... Any suggestions what I can get for both guys n gals for Xmas?

The Ladder Theory

My friend was telling me about the Ladder Theory the other day... I must admit that this is one of the most interesting read I had for quite some time.

The Ladder Theory basically states that Man has one ladder where they will rank the woman according to how much they will like to have sex with them. The more the man wants to have sex with the woman, the higher is the woman on the ladder. On the other hand, woman has 2 ladders; the Friends Ladder and the Real Ladder. The Friends Ladder is where they will place guys whom they only want to be friends with and the Real Ladder is where they placed the guys whom they will like to have sex with.

Now I can finally understand better why I was just not attracted to some guys even though they are really nice to me and why I was attracted to others when they are not anyone fantastic. Maybe cos I placed them in the Friends Ladder while I placed the others in the Real Ladder.

However, I believe woman are not the only ones with 2 ladders. I feel that some man also have 2 ladders. I may be wrong too because I don't even understand myself so who am I to say I can understand man? ;)

How old are you???

You Are 25 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do you Act?

wah liao... sure or not? am i really that old??? I dun wan.... :'(

JR gang

I joined the forum that I'm frequenting now sometime in Aug 2004. How did I actually stump upon it and even join it? My friend was actually the one who sent me a link to go to this forum. I clicked onto the link and went in and while I was looking at the link my friend sent me, I decided to browse ard that forum and look at what's interesting in the forum...

I hung ard there for a few days in that forum cos I have nothing to do when I'm online anyway... I read about all the interesting posts in there. The people there are very knowledgable and seems to know everything... They will post all the updated news you can find and even interesting news from other parts of the world. For some reason, I got stuck in that forum every since.

I got to know the JR gang in the forum. I more or less got to know them after I joined them for a gathering. That was the second time they had a gathering. I more or less missed the first one cos I wasn't following the thread from the start and joined in only after sometime.

The JR gang is a very fun bunch of people. It is funny how I joined them at their weekly WIFI sessions when I have nothing to WIFI about. It is more of the fun I have with them that Imake me joined them ba... Maybe also because I do not have anything to do on weekends anymore.

Sad to say, the JR gang has more or less dispersed... Or rather, there are only maybe around 5 of us left from the initial 8 to 9 people. All this because of 2 stupid conflicts they have amongst each other... Whatever it is, I still appreciate the friendship I have with some of them. Let's hope nothing major will happen again to spoil the friendship for the rest of what's left of the JR gang...

Don't understand why...

Sometimes I really dun understand why is it that some people hopes that everyone thinks the same way as they do? They dun seem to be able to accept the fact that each individual is different in the way they think and do things. Things that they think is wrong IS wrong and anyone who dun agree with what their views is wrong. Come on... face the facts... everyone is different... Is there any point of having everyone thinking things the way you do? If that's the case, you might as well go n get a clone or go brainwash everyone in the world to make them think like you do...

Marriage

I will be attending the wedding dinner of one of my JC classmate tomorrow night. She is probably the first friend I have who gets married at the age of 23. Other friends of mine who got married so early are mostly because of shotgun or cos their husbands are much older than them so they want to start a family early. For this classmate of mine who will be getting married tomorrow, her husband is only around 2 or 3 years older than her. So they are out of the norm to me.

To me, for some reasons, I no longer believe in marriage. To me, marriage is just a status to let everyone else know that you are together with your spouse legally. It may also be to please the parents of both side who do not like their children to cohabit. Other than that, it is more of just a fragile piece of paper.

And no, the reason I don't believe in marriage is not cos I come from a broken family or some sort. In fact I have a happy family and to this day I think my parents are still very lovng with each other. I still see them going pak-tor every weekend when my mum is not working... I love to see them together like this. Very sweet de wor...

Maybe because of the escalating divorce rates you see in the society now. It is more or less affecting me ba... Marriage is no longer a security to let you know that you will live happily ever after with your partner... Just like you can be dating this guy or girl for many years. Yet you may end up marrying someone whom you only dated for only one year after breaking up with the gf/bf of 4 or 5 yrs.

I still remember my sis's friend getting divorced within a year of her marriage cos of a 3rd party. Her husband still can give her a lame excuse that he feel that their character doesn't match after 5 yrs of dating... Crap...

Sometimes I wonder if there will come the day when I will get married at all... I can't see myself getting married to anyone... Maybe I used to imagine myself getting married wth Fred cos after all I was with him for 3 yrs plus. But that's history already. Now I seriously can't imagine myself getting married to anyone... Not even my current bf... Maybe I will change my mind a few years down the road... Just maybe...

How Boyish or Girlish You Are?

You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

hee... did this test not long ago and here are the results.... No wonder Brian always wonder whether I wear skirt or wear pants. hee...

ok I admit... I am more boyish compared to other girls... lol... Bo bian... I'm born with this characteristic... hee... Maybe that's y I mix with guys easier than with girls. :P

Birthday wishlist

hee... my birthday coming along the way liao wor... so i shall be very kind and list down the things I want for my bdae...

My Birthday Wishlist:
1) Lap top
hee... my stupid computer can go into retirement liao lah... tried to start up just now and it just keep restarting itself again n again n again... Chem so poor liao where to go find $$ to buy a new pc or even labby so of cos must depend on my friends liao... lol...

2) ipod Nano
Wah... this baby is just so chio... I see liao also want to drool... Come come... see which kind soul is willing to buy this baby for me... lol

3) Camera
hee... anyone willing to get a me camera? My expectations not very high lah... 4 MP, 2.5" screen n must be those that went into slimming centre before one... see i so kind... never expect it to be those 5 megapixels one... :P

4) Rebonding
ok... I have decided to go do rebonding liao... but doing rebonding in Kimage is bloody ex... it's defintely going to burn a big big BIG hole in my pocket... so sad... hee... but I think someone is going to be ripped off by me liao... lol...

5) A pair of jeans (ok this is out liao cos my sec sch friends have offer to pay for them... :D)
hee... I spotted the pair of jeans I wan liao... You are mine on my bdae cos I will be going to get the 20% bdae discount... :D But if anyone wan to pay for it I also dun mind... lol

6) Tee-shirts
Chem arh... I think I'm lacking of clothes to wear nowadays... everytime fri comes for me to go to work, I will look into my cupboard and wonder wat to wear to office.. gd lah... fri I can dress dw... but not good in the sense that I no plain tee-shirt to wear. so end up I seems to be always wearing the Hard Rock Cafe tee shirt that bro bought for me from HK.

ok... final note... this one is just a joke lah... I dun really expect anyone to get any of these for me... I'm just feeling too bo liao at this pt of time so I come up with this list... read read then nia ok? :)

Piggy me...

Haven been blogging for quite sometime... Been kinda busy with my work and sch... in fact so busy that I actually feel kind of stress with my exams... I was glad that I finally got over and done with all my projects and stuff. In fact for the past week I din really get a lot of sleep because I was busy doing my proj until wee hours. So imagine how glad I was when I was finally able to get some decent sleep over the weekend. :)

I'm actually having my exams this week and almost everyday, I actually stay outside and study with my classmates until ard 12mn. I bet I will put on lots of weight during my exam period... How not to when u see the rate that Ah Orh and I were eating? Take for eg... I met them on Sun at 3+. Within one hour of me reaching there, Dai Lo, Miss Pattern and Ah Orh said they want to go n eat KFC. so off to KFC we go... after eating at KFC (by then Jac had already join us), we went off to study at the Mac nearby cos it was too noisy at KFC. We were studying until ard 8+ or 9 when ah orh went and redeemed a 9 pc nuggets and got a drink. Jac, ah orh and I shared the nuggets cos dai lo and miss pattern also left by that time. Jac left ah orh n I at ard 10+ and ah orh and I decided to call it a day at ard 12mn. After calling it a day, both of us went n ate Chong Pang nasi lemak! What a piggy day I had... :P and this dun happen onli once... it happened again just the other day while we were out studying also...

so dun b surprised if u bump into me n c a fat fat me ... :P

Be myself...

曲名：做自己
歌手：同恩

会不会走太快
爱宠坏你和我
能不能停一下
只要一下就可以
偶尔我想偷个闲
好或坏等明天再想
偶尔我会有点腻
好或坏等明天再说
不想爱你或爱他
我只想做自己
只想为了自己多呼吸一点
就算爱你比爱他 更美丽
不如我让自己解放
会不会走太快
爱宠坏你和我
能不能停一下
只要一下就可以
偶尔我想松了弦
而好或坏等明天再想
偶尔我想听不见
是好是坏等明天再说
不想爱你或爱他
我只想做自己
只想为了自己多呼吸一点
就算爱你比爱他 更美丽
不如我让自己解放 oh
不想为你 我为他
我只想爱自己
只想为了自己再诚实一些
就没有你没有他 没有谁
只剩我和自己流浪
会不会走太快 爱宠坏你和我
能不能停一下
一下就可以

Yesterday...

I always hear this song on yes 933 and like it quite a lot so went n find the lyrics jus now... =)

Yesterday By Beatles

Yesterday
All my troubles seem so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh I believe in yesterday

SuddenlyI'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
Oh yesterday came suddenly

Why she had to go
I don't know she wouldn't say
I said something wrong
Now I long for yesterday

Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh I believe in yesterday
Why she had to go
I don't know she wouldn't say
I said something wrong
Now I long for yesterday

Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh I believe in yesterday

If ever I am to go missing...

If ever I am to go missing from your life, please don't try and look for me ok? It may be that I'm finally sick and tired of all these and need to get away from it all. It may also be because I decided to be a coward and hide from you all so that I don't have to think so much anymore...

Sometimes I really feel like off-ing my hp so that nobody will be able to find me. Or even better, lose all my contact nos. or lost my hp so that I can start everything all over again. Perhaps it is the only way that I can get away from all these things and I will then be able to have time to think of what I really want.

There are other times when I hope I will lose my memories. So that I do not have to be reminded of all the happy and sad memories I had with so many people. So that I do not have to be reminded of the things i 'should' and 'should not' do.

Sometimes I really think I need a break from all these and hide from everyone in a place where nobody can find me. So that I can think things through and not feel so bothered by all these things...

So if ever you cannot find me by calling or sms-ing me throughout the whole day, jus leave me alone and give me some time to myself ok? Let me hide in my shell for a while until I'm ready to face the world again...

I think I'm under too much stress at the moment so if you want, you can ignore whatever I typed here...

Five surprising reasons men are happy in a relationship

got this from a mail my friend fwded to me... think it's quite true to a certain extent ba... But I'm not a guy so who am I to comment whether it's true or not rite? ;)

Five surprising reasons men are happy in a relationship
by Bonnie Yuill

Don't be fooled by the male ego. Men look for more in a relationship than an attractive women who will cook him a good meal and wash his clothes every once in a while. What he really needs is your admiration.

He needs to communicate with you
A lot of men need to be in a relationship more than women do. Surprising? Not really, when you think about it. Women usually have close relationships with their friends. They talk about health problems until they feel better. But men don't. As Helen Fielding's character, Bridget Jones, says, 'Women have emotions and men have football.' Men are competitive and so, in general, they rarely share their emotions or problems with each other, as they think it makes them look too weak. When he needs to open up and talk about his feelings, guess who he eventually shows his vulnerable side to? You!

He wants to be your hero
Knowing that he can make someone else happy makes him feel good inside, because he has the power to change things. And what bloke doesn't secretly want power of some sort? At least if he can't always be top dog at work, he can be a star at home. Instinctively, he aspires to be Spider-Man or Superman – to be your hero, to be able to make things right: to be appreciated, to be someone's knight in shining armour. So when you are disappointed or unhappy, he feels responsible. What matters is that you are happy and then he's got one less thing to worry about. Strange but true.

He strives to make you happy
The number one reason men leave relationships is because they feel as though they can't meet their partner's needs. This makes them feel inadequate, and it makes them feel as though there's no way their partner can feel respect for them. For women, communication seems to be the top priority in keeping the relationship going – but, quite honestly, men don't understand this constant need to talk about things over and over.

For men, the relationship is a success if they feel respected and if they make their partner happy. This is why a new conquest is exactly that – he feels as though he is in charge – he is once again someone's knight in shining armour.

If you resent him because you feel overworked and under-appreciated, stop doing so much – you are probably destroying your relationship! He doesn't want to feel responsible for you rushing around, worn into the carpet, and most men really don't notice whether the housework has been done or not. What they want is respect and appreciation. 'All we really want from women,' a (male) friend recently told me, 'is for you to smile at us.' (And probably one other thing, if he thought about it for longer than a millisecond.)

Sex makes him feel loved
Sex has the same effect on men as romance does on women. So the reverse is also true: no sex = no love, no approval, no acknowledgement. They get that same sad, unloved feeling that you get when you don't get flowers, your partner looks at other women or ignores you.

You are his (secret) reason for living
He needs you because you inspire him to do better – he has someone to do things for, goals to reach, a reason to go out and conquer the world. What's the point of being disgustingly rich and powerful if there's no one to share it with? What he needs is the gift of you.

My naughty daddy...

I love my dad a lot. Maybe except for the fact that he is rather strict with me in some ways, I think he is really a wonderful parent. Sometimes I will get irritated with him and my mum because I dun like to be told by him or my mum to reach home at wat time or cannot stay out until too late and etc... Even though I know they are just concern about my safety but there will be times when I really can't help but feel irritated. Maybe cos I'm always a rebellious ba... However, no matter wat happens, to me, my dad is the perfect husband to my mum and the most wonderful daddy in the world.

Sometimes I think I am a bit of 恋父 . I remember I once told my sis that if ever I am to get married with anyone, I will like to marry someone like my dad. To me, in some ways, my dad is the perfect example of a good husband. Dunno y also... Maybe because of the way my mum and him 相处 with each other. I always think they are very sweet. I always love to see how my dad will think up of many different ways to ka jiao or trick my mum. In fact, sometimes I think ka jiao-ing my mum is my dad's favorite activty. Sometimes I will even gang up with my dad and trick my poor mum... hee...

anyway, just to quote the latest ka jiao incident that happen yesterday...

Last nite I heard the latest 'incident' of my blur mummy kanna ka jiao by my funny daddy... My mum was in the kitchen doing her normal household chores in the afternoon. It happens that my dad returned home just when my mum went into the toilet. When my dad realised that my mum was in the toilet, he immediately sneaked into their room w/o her knowing that he was home. My naughty daddy then connect an unused phone to the telephone socket in their room and called my mum's hp when she got out of the toilet. When my mum saw the caller id reflecting our home no, she was very puzzled. Because there was only 'one' phone in our hse which is in the kitchen but yet the call that received was fr our hse. At first she thot that she did not hang up the phone properly but after checking, she found the phone to be totally alright. The phone rang again a second time and reflected my hse no again. that was when my dad came out from the room pretending that nothing had happened at all. In the end my dad confessed to being the culprit... hee... I think kinda scary for my mum wor... esp when it's the 7th month now. hee... bet my mum nearky freaked out. :p

hee... wat a cute dad I have rite? :D

Why can't they just get over and done with it?!

damn pissed off now... grrr... it's jus a bloody project! why are they always dragging and dragging n dragging it? Cant they jus do it nw, get it over and done with? With the dateline on nx fri and it's already bad enuff that we DID NOT TOUCH it yet, they still wan to keep on dragging... fuck up proj....

Why is it getting more n more complicated...?

Sometimes I can't help but wonder about why is my love life getting more n more complicated as I grow older and older? Does the problem lies in me only or is everyone facing the same problem as I am? Does it lies in the change of my mentality as I grow older or...? It's a question I will like to have an answer to but I am still searching for that answer... Who can answer me?

Who will be there when I need someone to be there?

I was talking to fred last nite until 2am... he was feeling very down yesterday due to some reasons. I felt quite sad for him but I know there's nothing I can do for him at that point of time other than to lend him a listening ear and to be there for him.

He was telling me about how he was there for his good friends when they need him, providing them with a listening ear. However when he's the one who needs someone there to listen to him or understand how he feels, he feels that they are never there for him. There are nobody whom he can talk to when he badly needs someone ard.

It suddenly makes me wonder... How many of my so-called good friends are actually ard when I need them? Who do I look for when I need a listening ear?

My very best friend...

I took half day leave on thursday (21/07/05) to study for my econs test. End up I met up with Fred for lunch and spent my half day talking to him in Head Quaters... No wonder I din manage to finish studying for my test. :p

Both of us talked about a lot of things. We talked about the reason that contributed to our break up, we talked about the past and we also talked about my bf. It has been a long time since we talked about this kind of things. Sometimes I kind of missed those days when we were still together. We used to like to sit under my blk and jus hug each other and talk. I will always remember the times we had in Sentosa when there are jus the both of us, the times we had when we were jus rotting in his hse and also the times we had jus holding hands and strolled back to my hse. I still remember him telling me before that he likes the walk to my hse cos it's quiet and he feels that it allows him time to think abt things... Together, both of us shared so many memories...

Sometimes when I think back, I kind of feel sad that we have to end this relationship. After all, I spend most of the happiest moments I have in life with him. But I guess I should b glad that both of us managed to remain as best friends after the break up. Sometimes I will think and will wonder if I will ever be able to move on to my life. It is very hard for me to close the chapter of my life with him being the closest person to me and suddenly it jus ended like that.

I was talking to him on msn jus now. He told me that he thinks he has a liking for one of his good friend. He was wondering if he shld tell the girl. He's worried that their friendship will b ruin and also she jus broke up w her bf not v long ago and lastly cos he scare she will reject him. Funnily, I was nt at all surprised by the news. I just kinda expected it liao cos they were out so often. They are like meeting almost every other day. Jus like me and him a long long time ago. Another weird thing is that I dun even feel jealous at all. I thot I will. Mayb a bit uncomfortable at first but it went away after a while. Mayb this means that I have finally moved on already? :) I am truely happy for him. Mayb jus like him, I always wan him to have the best, jus like he wants me to have the best too.

I told him that I find both of us weird. Cos we were there chatting on msn after we broke up like 4 months ago, telling each other about the person we like. I dun think I know anyone else who did that before. Most people are glad if they are able to remain as friends with their exs. We are still able to talk to each other about everything even after we broke up. I dun deny he's the guy whom I feel most comfortable with. I can really talk to him about any and everything that I have in my mind. There aren't a lot of people who are as fortunate like me to have this kind of friends. Somehow, I jus know that no matter wat happens in the future, both he and me will remain as the very best friends. :D

I promise that we will remain as very best friends forever no matter wat happen k? ;)

Why I created this blog...

Actually I have no idea why I suddenly have the idea of creating a blog. Cos I know I will definitely not blog regularly... Bo bian I lazy mah... :p To those expecting to find perfect grammar or english in this blog, please look elsewhere... I do not have the habit of writing in perfect english. My GP get E8 one leh... so you can't expect too much k? I like to write in Singlish and adds in some chinese words here n there. Cos I think it's more 'me' in a way...

ok... back to y i suddenly decide to create a blog... I think maybe I just want to record down the events of my life, my thoughts and whatever that I think I should write down so that one day I can refer back this blog and know what I was thinking then or what was happening in my life. A lot of times there are lots of things running thru my head but I will just think and think abt them and sad to say, most of the times I will end up forgetting some of the impt things that I shld remember cos i have a terrible memory. Let's hope this blog will help me remember some things in a way... :)