Being Friends with the Ex...

It seems to me that there really is not many people around who can accept the fact that their bf/gf is still friends or worse yet, best friends with their ex.

This didn't really happened to me. Rather, it happened to my best friend who was my ex bf. Seems to me that all his gfs or rather most of his gf are unable to accept the fact that both of us are still very good friends even though we broke up. It took some of them quite sometime to get over it. Some never got over it but have to accept it. My bf is probably one of those who are forced to accept ba... I'm not too sure also...

I just don't get it why does it bothers them so much? It was long over for the both of us. I am, in a way, happily attached already... It's not like I ever harbour any thoughts about us getting back together again. Neither does he... And most of all, we had changed... We are no longer who we used to be. We are still best friends because we understand each other/s thoughts and mentality most of the time. Yes, I say most of the time because sometimes I do have the urge to kill him when I cannot comprehend with his ideas and way of thinking. Most importantly, in a way, both of us grew up together. We walked alongside each other through many parts and often, most important parts of our lifes. This probably made the bond between us stronger than most people's. That is probably why we are still best friends even though we used to be together especially when we were good friends before we got together then.

No matter what, I do hope he will be able to find his happiness soon... After all, I wish the best for him...

Cruel

Sometimes I feel that after you end a relationship, you need to be cruel to the other party in order to let them not have any more hope left. You may be together with that person for a long period of time or maybe the person really loves you alot but when the time comes that there is no way for you to continue the relationship, it might be actually better to be cruel and cut off all contacts with them than to 拖拖拉拉.

There may be a chance that later in life, the both of you may become friends again but there is always a down period when you need to be firm and stop all contacts. Being cruel may be the fastest way for that person to forget you even though they may feel very hurt. That might be kinder to them instead. After all, how many times have you feel sick about being given false hope then get disappointed time and again? It's time to wake up from the dreams... Time to know that nothing may ever come out of it... When it's not meant to be, it's just not meant to be...

A Relationship is Just like Warranty Card?!

I was out for dinner with Fred and Nicholas this evening at Aston in The Cathay. This was the first time I ate at Aston. My Prime Ribeye was nothing very fascinating but was quite value for money.

While we were out and talking about Fred's recent status, Nick cam out with something funny but true... "A relationship is like filling up a warranty card. People usually fill up the warranty card and send it out. You? You keep the warranty card with you for so long that by the time you want to fill it up and send, the warranty is already void."

So how long can a relationship lasts? Some warranty offers you a lifetime guarantee. Others offers a period of days to months to years. It all depends on what you buy (who you date) ... So how long do you wish your warranty will last?

凡走过必会留下痕迹

I finally get to understand the phrase 凡走过必会留下痕迹. Each and every passerby in your life, affects you in some ways no matter whether it's good or bad.

I have been through quite a couple of relationships. From a possessive boyfriend, to bo chup boyfriend, things that I have learn may not seem to be alot but they do leave a mark. I learnt that I hate to have a bf who is possessive. Who tries to control my every movement. Especially not when I have strict parents to deal with. But that was many years ago... Still, through that relationship, I realised that I need my own space and freedom when I am in a relationship. I don't like to have to "report strength" every now and then. I compromise to doing it with my bf doesn't mean that I like it. However I do admit that if there are somethings that I compromise and will make the relationship a better one, I will do it. This does not make me a good gf. This only means that I am too lazy to quarrel with my bf every now and then about something I don't like to do but which he feels is necessary.

I have a good friend who is so affected by a previous relationship that it is affecting his new relationship. It is a pity for this to happen but I can understand the effect of a previous relationship to this new one. I will be like him too if it happened to me. I hate to see this happen but at least he still have a chance to make things right. Let's just hope that things are not too late.

This thing call Love...

I forgot where did I read it before but for some reason, this phrase came into my mind tonight while I was walking home.

Some people always say that Love is Blind. But the truth is, Love is NOT blind. It is people using this saying Love is Blind as an excuse to justify their actions.

Sometimes I even wonder if a person had truely loved before if they had never done anything crazy for it. No matter how clever, sensible or practical the person is, there will be some point in time that they will end up doing some stupid thing that they never thought they will ever do because of this thing call Love.

Even though I have always think of myself as someone quite sensible, I did some stupid things before. Till now, occasionally I will start thinking about it and wonder if it is worth it or not. Maybe I have the answers a few years down the road... Maybe not... No matter what, there's still no regrets... At least I don't want it to become something that I will regret...

Love is not complicated, Human is...

I was browsing this blog when I saw the blogger writing this: "Love is not complicated, Human is... Its We ourselves make our relationships complicated because no one will truely know what's on the other person's mind..."

I can't help but agree with how true it is. Relationships will not be as complicated if you know what's on the other person's mind. But how often can you find someone whom you truely know his / her mind? At least I know I have yet to find that someone. Does that someone even exist?

Relationships...

I wonder what is really the factor to determine if a couple will go into marriage or end up going their separate ways even after many many years of courtship?

I have at least 3 friends who broke up with their gf after 5 years of relationship. 5 years is really long time if you ask me but yet they still broke up just like that citing many many reasons.

I have another friend who is thinking of proposing to his gf of 5 years. He had already bought the proposal ring and is planning to propose to his gf during their trip to HK. Honestly, I was kinda surprised to hear that as I feel that even though they are together for 5 years, I don't really think that their relationship is very stable. Of course I do hope to see them getting married, but I think they have to settle some issues before going into the next phase of life.

Last Saturday I attended my friend's ROM lunch at Raffles Town Club. I think it is a very nicely held affair other than the fact that the Justice of Peace was late for the event as he was held up by the traffic. They are a couple who decided to step into marriage after just 1+ year of courtship but I think they are very well matched.

Who says you need to be together for a long time before getting married? A long relationship does not mean the relationship is stable. Time does not determine anything at all...

5 Languages of Love

A friend of my brought up this 5 languages of Love while we were talking about BGR problems that we were facing. I remembered posting a post about it somewhere but I can't seem to be able to find that post, so I decided to post it here again... :)

I think in a way knowing the 5 languages of Love may actually help to improve your relationship with you bf/gf. Try doing this test to see what is rank the highest for you or your bf/gf. Hope it helps to improve your relationship too. :)

Language of Love

I did a test someone posted in the forum... here's my results....

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Physical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:		10
Quality Time:		9
Acts of Service:		6
Words of Affirmation:		3
Receiving Gifts:		2

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

The Ladder Theory

My friend was telling me about the Ladder Theory the other day... I must admit that this is one of the most interesting read I had for quite some time.

The Ladder Theory basically states that Man has one ladder where they will rank the woman according to how much they will like to have sex with them. The more the man wants to have sex with the woman, the higher is the woman on the ladder. On the other hand, woman has 2 ladders; the Friends Ladder and the Real Ladder. The Friends Ladder is where they will place guys whom they only want to be friends with and the Real Ladder is where they placed the guys whom they will like to have sex with.

Now I can finally understand better why I was just not attracted to some guys even though they are really nice to me and why I was attracted to others when they are not anyone fantastic. Maybe cos I placed them in the Friends Ladder while I placed the others in the Real Ladder.

However, I believe woman are not the only ones with 2 ladders. I feel that some man also have 2 ladders. I may be wrong too because I don't even understand myself so who am I to say I can understand man? ;)