Who will be there when I need someone to be there?

I was talking to fred last nite until 2am... he was feeling very down yesterday due to some reasons. I felt quite sad for him but I know there's nothing I can do for him at that point of time other than to lend him a listening ear and to be there for him.

He was telling me about how he was there for his good friends when they need him, providing them with a listening ear. However when he's the one who needs someone there to listen to him or understand how he feels, he feels that they are never there for him. There are nobody whom he can talk to when he badly needs someone ard.

It suddenly makes me wonder... How many of my so-called good friends are actually ard when I need them? Who do I look for when I need a listening ear?

My very best friend...

I took half day leave on thursday (21/07/05) to study for my econs test. End up I met up with Fred for lunch and spent my half day talking to him in Head Quaters... No wonder I din manage to finish studying for my test. :p

Both of us talked about a lot of things. We talked about the reason that contributed to our break up, we talked about the past and we also talked about my bf. It has been a long time since we talked about this kind of things. Sometimes I kind of missed those days when we were still together. We used to like to sit under my blk and jus hug each other and talk. I will always remember the times we had in Sentosa when there are jus the both of us, the times we had when we were jus rotting in his hse and also the times we had jus holding hands and strolled back to my hse. I still remember him telling me before that he likes the walk to my hse cos it's quiet and he feels that it allows him time to think abt things... Together, both of us shared so many memories...

Sometimes when I think back, I kind of feel sad that we have to end this relationship. After all, I spend most of the happiest moments I have in life with him. But I guess I should b glad that both of us managed to remain as best friends after the break up. Sometimes I will think and will wonder if I will ever be able to move on to my life. It is very hard for me to close the chapter of my life with him being the closest person to me and suddenly it jus ended like that.

I was talking to him on msn jus now. He told me that he thinks he has a liking for one of his good friend. He was wondering if he shld tell the girl. He's worried that their friendship will b ruin and also she jus broke up w her bf not v long ago and lastly cos he scare she will reject him. Funnily, I was nt at all surprised by the news. I just kinda expected it liao cos they were out so often. They are like meeting almost every other day. Jus like me and him a long long time ago. Another weird thing is that I dun even feel jealous at all. I thot I will. Mayb a bit uncomfortable at first but it went away after a while. Mayb this means that I have finally moved on already? :) I am truely happy for him. Mayb jus like him, I always wan him to have the best, jus like he wants me to have the best too.

I told him that I find both of us weird. Cos we were there chatting on msn after we broke up like 4 months ago, telling each other about the person we like. I dun think I know anyone else who did that before. Most people are glad if they are able to remain as friends with their exs. We are still able to talk to each other about everything even after we broke up. I dun deny he's the guy whom I feel most comfortable with. I can really talk to him about any and everything that I have in my mind. There aren't a lot of people who are as fortunate like me to have this kind of friends. Somehow, I jus know that no matter wat happens in the future, both he and me will remain as the very best friends. :D

I promise that we will remain as very best friends forever no matter wat happen k? ;)

Why I created this blog...

Actually I have no idea why I suddenly have the idea of creating a blog. Cos I know I will definitely not blog regularly... Bo bian I lazy mah... :p To those expecting to find perfect grammar or english in this blog, please look elsewhere... I do not have the habit of writing in perfect english. My GP get E8 one leh... so you can't expect too much k? I like to write in Singlish and adds in some chinese words here n there. Cos I think it's more 'me' in a way...

ok... back to y i suddenly decide to create a blog... I think maybe I just want to record down the events of my life, my thoughts and whatever that I think I should write down so that one day I can refer back this blog and know what I was thinking then or what was happening in my life. A lot of times there are lots of things running thru my head but I will just think and think abt them and sad to say, most of the times I will end up forgetting some of the impt things that I shld remember cos i have a terrible memory. Let's hope this blog will help me remember some things in a way... :)