Grandma

I was never very close to her possibly due to the language barrier. I can understand what she is telling me but as I am not very proficient in my Hokkien, sometimes it is really hard for me to express myself to answer her. It will often end up like one duck and one chicken trying to talk to each other. Most of the time I will end up looking at my aunts or uncles for help.

As I grow older, I seldom visit my grandma's house as often as I have other commitments. Most of the time, I will only visit my grandma house a few times a year. However, my mum and my aunties will gather at my grandma's house almost every forthnight. They like to gather there, gossip and cook dinner together for everyone. They are very closely knit.

My grandma passed away yesterday at the age of 79. Everyone is very sad to see her go even though we know the time will come sooner or later.

I still can remember the visits to her house when I was young. My cousins and I would play hide and seek in her house and hid ourselves in her cupboard, behind her curtains, under her bed, practically any place where we could hide or squeeze into as long as we would not get caught. It was so fun then...

*The cupboards I used to hide in while playing hide and seek with my cousins...

I wonder how things will change now that she is gone. I wonder...

Death of a loved one

This is perhaps the second time in my whole lifetime that I experienced a death in my family. The first time was when I was in Sec 2 when my paternal grandfather passed away. Today, my maternal grandma left us at 8pm.

I cried when I saw the sms from my cousin informing me about her death. I was having my lessons then and the lecturer happened to give us a break when her sms came. I went out of the classroom and called her immediately after that. She told me that grandma just passed away not long ago. I called my dad after that and he instructed me not to let my brother know the news as he is currently in Philippines due to work reasons.

She passed away due to cancer. She was already in the terminal stage when the doctors discovered it. There was nothing much they can do for her since she was too weak to go for an operation to remove the tumor in her bile duct. After staying in SGH for nearly a month, my family transferred her to Dover Park Hospice. She is more or less waiting for her time to come ever since she was admitted there. Each time I went and visit her, the only noticable difference I could see is her growing thinner and thinner. It is really heart wrenching to see her become like that.

I am just so glad that I went down to visit her yesterday as I actually din want to go as I was kinda lazy and was thinking of pushing the visit all the way to tues. How glad I am now. At least I still get to see her before she left us today.

New Year Resolution...

I never make any new year resolution before... SO I decided to do it this year... this will be my one and only new year resolution of 2006... to lose weight~! Hope I can achieve this... Think I must cut dw on eating supper liao... :P

End of 2005

Time really flies... In a few more days, 2005 will come to an end... Every year the newspapers will list down the top 10 happenings in the year... now I guess it's my turn to list down the top 10 happenings in my life in 2005... Ok... I tried to list down top 10 things but I can really recall what other things I can list down... So make do with Top 7 things ok? :P

1) Breaking up with Freddy on 24 March 2005
I guess this must come in the top. After all it came as a shock to almost everyone esp since we were together for 3+ years. He was my best friend and still is even until now. We are still in contact now and I still tell him everything. But no matter what happens, I will definitely treasure the memories we had...

2) Grandma contracting cancer
Sad to say we just discovered that grandma has contracted cancer which is already in the terminal stage. There is nothing much the doctors can do for her now cos they cant operate on her as she's too weak. We can only visit her more often in the hospital cos she is more or less waiting for the time to go. We did not let her know her condition cos we are afraid she will lose her will to live if she knows. Now we can only wait and wait and wait....

3) Knowing the pp in the forum
I joined the gathering the day I broke up with Fred and got to know some of the people from the forum. Maybe because I had quite a lot of free time during the weekends after I broke up with Fred, thus I met up with them for WIFI session almost every weekend. Funny thing though is that I just go there to zuo bo n chat with them. I'm too bored at home lah... bo bian... :P It was through the WIFI sessions that I got to know some of them better and became good friends. We even go for supper (or dinner in my case) on and off after my school.

4) Going back to school
I think my mum must have thought that I was crazy when I told her that I was thinking of going to take up a p/t advance diploma course. This is because everyone knows how much I hate studying... or rather... how much I study... I never really put in any effort to study all my life or rather, I only study when I need to. Too lazy to spend that time on studying when I can be out playing or having fun... Anyway, I am now studying a p/t Advance Diploma in Strategic Marketing. Many people had asked me why did I choose to study an advance diploma when I can go and do a degree. My answer to all is always the same... Cos I'm not sure if I am really interested in marketing and I dun want to spend so much money on a 3 years degree course and then realised that it is not what I want after all. At least because this is a 1.5 years course, I will die die finish studying it... Studying this course has make my already busy days even more busy esp when my projects are due for submittion... so my life is basically busy busy and busy all the way...

5) Found an old friend through friendster
Friendster is a popular network engine where you can find all your friends who are link to other people all over the world. Funnily, it is through friendster that a friend of mine all the way from my primary school got back in touch with me. I lost contact with him for quite some time. Even though both of us know that we can easily get back in touch by going through his sister, I guess we are both too lazy. Anyway, I am just glad to find an old friend back... :)

6) Getting a new bf
I got attached ard 4 months after I broke up w Fred... He was someone I know from Mumbo Camp. He's really nice to me and I know he loves me alot. I do love him but somehow there are things that he did that I don't approve of... But that's in the past already...

7) Putting on weight...
damn... I put on lots of weight this year... Many 'thanks' to Darryl and Benny... They are the main culprit for causing me to put on weight... One will bring me to all sorts of places to makan the other will send me food on n off while he's in Australia... I want to lose weight...~!

I'm looking forward to 2006 and hope it will be a better year...

December

December is the time when most people will choose to clear their leave and clear their holidays. That's perhaps y there are so many people out on the streets even though it's weekdays.

For me, I guess December is one of the month when I'm ultra busy... so busy that I dun really have time for anything else. Take for example, Mumbo Camp is usually held in december. It will then take up the 1st two weekends of December cos of the OLIP and actual camp itself. the weekend after the camp will normally have the Christmas Party for the kids from Mumbo Camp.

Then comes Christmas which I normally will spend with my sec sch friends and New Year which I will spend with my Poly gfs... The rest of the weekdays you will have me either having lessons or shopping for xmas present if it's nearing xmas liao... Where do I find time for myself???

I still need to go to the hospital to visit grandma... I'm telling myself to go to try and go to the hospital more frequent cos I heard from sis that Grandma's condition is not very good... I really hope she will recover. However, with her old age and health condition, no matter how strong she is, it will still be very hard... But no matter what I will still pray and hope her condition will turn for the better... :)

Xmas is coming~!

Jingle Bells Jingle Bells Jingle all the way...

Xmas is round the corner again...~! Even though I am not a Christian, for some reason, I am always very happy whenever Xmas is here. Mayb because it's the season to be jolly... :P

I took half day leave today and met up with my dear to go for Xmas shopping... People all seem to dun need to work cos Orchard is quite crowded even though it's a weekday afternoon and after lunch time already... I bought quite a lot of stuff today and spent a lot of $$. Think I'm ultra broke now but there's still some presents that I have yet to buy... :(

I'm cracking my head to think of what presents to get for some of my friends... really v chem... dunno what to do... Any suggestions what I can get for both guys n gals for Xmas?

The Ladder Theory

My friend was telling me about the Ladder Theory the other day... I must admit that this is one of the most interesting read I had for quite some time.

The Ladder Theory basically states that Man has one ladder where they will rank the woman according to how much they will like to have sex with them. The more the man wants to have sex with the woman, the higher is the woman on the ladder. On the other hand, woman has 2 ladders; the Friends Ladder and the Real Ladder. The Friends Ladder is where they will place guys whom they only want to be friends with and the Real Ladder is where they placed the guys whom they will like to have sex with.

Now I can finally understand better why I was just not attracted to some guys even though they are really nice to me and why I was attracted to others when they are not anyone fantastic. Maybe cos I placed them in the Friends Ladder while I placed the others in the Real Ladder.

However, I believe woman are not the only ones with 2 ladders. I feel that some man also have 2 ladders. I may be wrong too because I don't even understand myself so who am I to say I can understand man? ;)